Time doesn’t heal…

Time doesn’t heal…

10 years. A decade.

Time heals all wounds they say. No, that’s not true. Time is like a bandage. It covers the wound, but it doesn’t heal it.

Sometimes the memories are triggered by a certain smell or a particular song, and that memory sneaks up and yanks the bandage off unsuspectingly, causing pain and revealing the open wound. After a while, the wound gets covered again, but it never heals. At least it hasn’t in 10 years. Maybe it will eventually, but I doubt it.

If I only I could call her. I’d love to hear how the last 10 years have been for her. She would probably be surprised at the time! I’m sure she’s having quite the time up there! If she asked, I’d give her an update. A lot has happened in 10 years.

Hey, Mom,

You have another grandchild! A girl! Your first granddaughter. We gave her your middle name. Charlotte Eileen. She looks just like you. I think of you all the time, but even more so now that we have our Charlie girl.

And Judah! Oh, Judah would keep you laughing! He’s a hoot! I so wish the kids had their Grandma Ehiguese around. You would love them so much. Every night I sing them a song I remember you singing all the time “As the Deer.” Judah calls it “The Deer Song” and asks for me to sing it regularly. Judah’s favorite animals are elephants! He talks about them constantly. I told him they were your favorite animal too. He doesn’t understand it yet, but I think it’s so cool. Malachi is 12 now and Levi will be 4 in a few months I wish you could see how amazing your 4 grandchildren are.

We’re moving out of California soon. You didn’t even know we moved out here. You would have loved to come and visit us. I remember you talking about your moments with God while sitting on the beach watching the ocean when you were in Hawaii. You would have loved it here in San Diego. When we move we’ll be closer to dad. I felt so bad leaving him when we moved. He’s excited to be only a road trip away. He’s a great Papa! You got to see him as a Papa for 2 years, but now he’s an old pro with 12 years under his belt. He loves his grandchildren so much.

Timothy has been in my life for so long, it’s crazy to think you never met him. You would have loved him. He takes good care of me and our kids. He’s the best husband and dad! He puts up with my stubbornness that you always loved about me.😜

I miss you, mom. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish you were here. 10 years later I still don’t know why, but it’s ok, I don’t ask anymore. I know God’s plan is greater than mine. I’m blessed that I had 19 years with you — some people don’t even get that long with their moms. I know you’re happy up there. I’ll see you soon and oh, what a day that will be!

My mom’s high school senior picture.
My family before my younger sister was born. I am the one in pigtails. I was either 4 or 5.