I’m 7 weeks into being a mom of 2. It’s going pretty much as I thought it would go.
Each day is full of crazy, messes, loud noises, tears, giggles, and whispers of “I love you so much.”
There’s also quite a bit of mom guilt involved in my days.
Guilt that my 2-year-old is having more than 20 min of screen time in a day because it’s the only time I can shower, make meals, or nurse the baby without him becoming bored and therefore destructive.
Guilt that I’m silently willing Baby C to hurry up and finish our current nursing session because then I wouldn’t have to have the screen on for more than 20 minutes a day.
I absolutely love and try hard to cherish the special times of closeness during nursing sessions. I want to enjoy these moments, yet I want her to hurry up so I can build a tall tower out of blocks with my 2-year-old.
Guilt that I didn’t provide enough experiences in the 22 months that Judah was an only child.
Guilt that I won’t be able to provide as many experiences for Charlotte that I did for Judah. Chasing a 2-year-old around a museum or a park while trying to nurse a screaming infant is exhausting, and frankly doesn’t happen very often.
Guilt that Baby C doesn’t get as much tummy time as Judah did at her age. A 7 week old in the floor is just too much temptation for a 2-year-old.
Guilt that if she doesn’t hit her milestones “on time” that it will be my fault.
Guilt that I raised my voice at Judah out of frustration.
Guilt that I was too tired to take advantage of a teaching moment and discipline him when he needed discipline.
Guilt that most days lately my husband comes home to a mess.
Guilt that some days dinner is late.
Guilt that I have 3 baskets of clean clothes I have yet to put away.
Guilt that I’ve gotten so far behind on my Bible reading plan that I gave up on it and just started over.
“Mom guilt” can be a never-ending circle. You feel guilty doing or not doing something because you felt guilty doing or not doing something else. You can have plans to clean the house but spent all day at the park instead, making precious memories with your children.
Guilt that the house didn’t get clean can happen, but if you’d cleaned instead, guilt that you didn’t spend enough time with the kids.
Bringing a new baby into the family is a huge transition, and it definitely takes time. I try to remind myself of that when the mom guilt creeps in.
I also try to pray about it.
I need strength to parent every single day and that strength doesn’t come from within (as the world says), but it comes from the Lord.
Philippians 4:13 –” I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
Isaiah 41:10 – “Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 – “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
While guilt isn’t a great thing to feel, I’m convinced it’s not all bad. Feeling guilty makes you realize a change is needed, that if you find yourself in the same situation again, you should respond, or react differently. I need strength from above to change. I can’t do it alone.
As a mom, try not to be too hard on yourself. Our days are unpredictable. Please don’t let yourself become weary due to mom guilt.
Instead, use those experiences to become a better mom in the future. Draw strength from the Lord, because only He can give you the strength that you need.
Remember, you’re doing a great job! Don’t let anyone (especially yourself) tell you otherwise.